what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
