I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize