and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
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Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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