u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize