i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
