she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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