ADVERTISEMENT

• (281): View more from Texas

  I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously

  Fav 9 879 1289

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

  Fav 6 1192 4031

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (518): View more from New York

  idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever

  Fav 16 6835 1826

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.

  Fav 14 6055 1703

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  It was just a squirrel

  (253): View more from Washington

  You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar

  Fav 12 6168 1411

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.

  Fav 8 974 1898

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"

  Fav 2 607 772

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...

  Fav 7 651 878

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst

  Fav 3 450 581

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.

  Fav 1 175 225

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.

  Fav 1 332 165

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (813): View more from Florida

  As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.

  Fav 3 305 143

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.

  Fav 1 204 118

  share tweet
  

• (971): View more from Oregon

  Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin

  Fav 0 9 43

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me

  Fav 0 12 54

  share tweet
  

Randomize