as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
