Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wish my penis had a tongue
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
