your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
