Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
