So drunk its hurt
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
