no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
