I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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