stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
