we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
