wakey wakey hands off snakey
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
