You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
