It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
