And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
