Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
