i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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