im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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