I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
