You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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