Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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