I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
