Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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