I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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