I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
