Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize