You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
