WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
