im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
