Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
