So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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