Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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