Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
