Is it normal to miss your booty call?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
