At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
