she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
