Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
