U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
