So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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