You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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