# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
