I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My liver just had a heart attack.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
