No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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