So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
