i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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