I want to have your abortion
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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