I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
