she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
