Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
