You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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