Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
