Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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