were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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