Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
