Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
