Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
