her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
